I hate it when I try to do good and be loving and all and I always get barked at like this by my husband...hell yes I get angry too...freaking mad sometimes....yeah we married for love all right but where is that love???
All because he got so tired and fell asleep then woke up and saw me still at the PC finishing up my last bit of work for the day.
He yelled "I help around the house damn much so that you can work while I look after the baby and you still can't wrap up that work...what the hell were you doing all day?"
I stayed patient not to give my baby a fright - but this man was becoming impossible.
It was my turn to get mad "Listen ok I am freaking tired too and I have to work even if it takes all day because we have bills to pay!"
I was trying very hard not to freak out "Don't you see the difference? do I rant down on you like the way you do whenever you get tired or hungry or bored...NO!" I was fuming.
"SO why am I treated this way...show some respect to your marriage at least!" I had to add "And I don't want my child to grow up seeing her father treating her mother this way!!!"
I should have kept my mouth shut. Here we ago again staying up all night fighting.
After an episode like this he starts avoiding me and deliberately not talk to me about anything but we both promised to keep this home.
Totally dysfunctional I know - since he is not talking to me and there are important daily things to be done, I text him and he leave curt replies. Infuriating but do I have a choice?
Seriously life cannot go on like this and surely my love would not remain if this pattern can not be broken!
LOOKING FOR A WORKABLE SOLUTION!!?
Feeling exhausted and frustrated because your husband's behavior is getting on your nerves? When tempers rise and communication breaks down, it's easy to feel lost and upset. Here's a quick guide to help you cope with the situation and work towards a more harmonious relationship.
1. Take a Deep Breath
In moments of frustration, our first reaction can often escalate the situation. Before responding, take a deep breath. This simple act can give you a moment to collect your thoughts and approach the situation more calmly.
2. Seek Understanding
Often, what we perceive as anger or irritation in our partners can be a sign of underlying stress or issues. Try to understand what might be causing your husband to act out. Is he stressed about work? Is there something else bothering him? Understanding doesn't excuse the behavior, but it can help in addressing the root cause.
3. Communicate Clearly
Express your feelings without blaming. Use "I" statements to communicate how his behavior affects you. For example, instead of saying, "You're always yelling at me!", try, "I feel upset when the conversation gets loud." This approach opens the door to a more productive and less defensive conversation.
4. Set Boundaries
It's important to set clear boundaries about what is acceptable behavior. Let your husband know that while you understand he may be dealing with stressors, you expect communication to remain respectful. Setting these boundaries early on can prevent patterns of disrespectful behavior from taking root.
5. Choose Your Battles
Some issues might warrant a discussion, while others could be overlooked for the sake of peace. Assess the situation and decide if it's worth the energy or if it's something you can let go. This doesn't mean ignoring your feelings but choosing when and how to address them constructively.
6. Practice Self-Care
Dealing with anger and frustration can be draining. Make sure you're taking care of yourself—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that relax and rejuvenate you, whether that's a hobby, exercise, or spending time with friends.
7. Seek Support
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we need external help. Don't hesitate to seek the advice of a counselor or therapist. Professional guidance can provide new perspectives and strategies to improve communication and understanding within your relationship.
8. Remember, You’re a Team
Finally, remember that you and your husband are partners. The ultimate goal is to support each other and grow together. Reaffirm your commitment to tackling challenges as a team, reminding each other that you're working towards the same goals.
Facing a partner's anger can be challenging, but with patience, understanding, and effective communication, you can navigate these stormy waters. Remember, it's okay to seek help, and it's important to look after yourself in the process. Together, you can build a stronger, more resilient relationship.
#findinnerpeace #PioneeringMaldivesWellness #pamperinmaldives
